The “Queue Theory” of Bangalore

(Written on August 15 2007 in a crowded street of Bangalore)

Bangalore is “toooo” crowded. I don’t know if adding more o’s to the word “too” increase its extremity but that’s what the intention is. There’s a huge demand and supply gap for virtually anything and everything you need in that city. Especially in the areas that have seen a recent population burst (read as Koramangala) thanks to the IT boom. And the local folks there blame the Northies and the IT people for it. Well (being judgmental again) in a way they are right but then isn’t that how economies develop? There comes a hell lot of junta who has lots of earning (and thus spending) potential, and it converts a sleepy garden city to a buzzing metropolis. Come ‘on Bangalorites, you cannot have the pros of something without bearing its cons.

For example, there are only 4 multiplexes in the city. And the movie goers are huge in number (obviously people like me and my roomie Amit exist everywhere). Result – long queues at the movies. It’s virtually impossible to see a new release on a weekend, with or without advance booking.

Every sat-sun the whole city lands up in a place called Forum. As a result there’s a queue at every outlet. (For people who don’t know, Forum is a shopping plaza or Mall or something of that sort). Interestingly (being judgmental – it’s a finding!) it’s the only place in India where I feel the salespersons tacitly praying to you – Sir, please leave, we don’t want to sell to so many people! A second interesting thing about Forum is that you walk up and down its length once.. twice.. thrice, and chances are you meet someone whom you already know. Look up what I wrote in the first line of the paragraph… the whole city is there! You just have to call them up to surprise – Hey buddy I know that you are in Forum, tell me which level are you on?

The longest queues are on the roads. Between 6-8 pm you get to enjoy what’s called Bumper-to-Bumper driving. Quiz for you - When traveling shorter distances, people sometimes reach the destination faster when on foot than when on a vehicle. Why?? Because you can always walk on the footpath but obviously can’t drive on it. (Another judgment… hmmm!)

Restaurants, parking, auto rickshaws – there’s a queue everywhere. Even at the local grocery shop that you visit in the morning, you find that you are at the end of a queue.

Frustrated my roomie Amit would say, “F*** !”

I candidly reply, “For that too you have to be in a queue in Bangalore!”

(My apologies for not using the new name of Bangalore. Reason – I am not sure of the spellings – whether it’s Bengalooru or Bengaluroo!)